Trust is one of the most powerful states of mind that creates an opportunity for vulnerability. Typically, when you trust someone with your whole heart, your emotions, your dreams, your fears and your secrets, you do so because you believe that that person has your best interest. Unfortunately, situations do occur that cause trust to exit the relationship and once trust exits, pain creeps in. Many people cope with pain differently. Some choose to sleep the pain away or self-medicate with alcohol and/or drugs. Some talk about it, some lash out at others, some internalize the pain – which can have many negative effects on the body – and some choose to just ignore the pain. However you choose to cope with the pain, just know there is another side of pain. The pain that you feel does not have to last forever. You do not have to allow that pain to dictate your life in a negative way. As a younger woman the worst pain I had experienced was the pain of a failed relationship because I always felt I could have done more or better (eventually I realized it wasn’t me; it was them). I never allowed the pain or disappointment from a previous relationship or potential relationship to have a negative effect on the next relationship, but the pain I felt was very real.
I know a few people who are dealing with the side effects of a broken marriage or a broken relationship. Some have lost a job or an opportunity that they felt was “once in a lifetime”. I am not telling you not to FEEL. You are human. It would be weird if you didn’t FEEL. I am not telling you how to work through the pain because different methods work for different people. I simply want you to know that there is another side of pain and life on this side is good. Friends are here to encourage you and uplift you; not judge you or ponder you with questions about the origin of your pain or badger you with “get over it” or statements similar. There are many more sunny days on this side. There are free opportunities for professional development to prepare you for a job that is better than the one you lost! The joy of hanging out with family and friends who have your best interest is unspeakable. The feeling of stepping outside alone early in the morning and taking a few deep breaths of fresh air before morning commuters pollute the air of a new day is so energetic. The bridge you take to get to this side of pain may be bumpy, there may be no guardrails to protect you from falling and you may have to pay a toll or two to get here, but it’s worth it. Pain exists on this side too, but the healing experience is different. You have already experienced pain and the pain here may be different than the pain you are experiencing there but you may be better equipped to deal with it on this side; you will have a support system here to help you and you can benchmark the pain you are dealing with now to coach you through pain you experience on this side.
I hope to see you here soon!